Comments on: How Churches Should Handle Autism

By: Michelle

Michelle — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 03:45:24 +0000

Hi Dan,
Thanks for this post. While my son has Down Syndrome, not Autism, he does have some sensory issues (doesn’t handle a lot of laughter, clapping, etc.) and is very resistant to change. I appreciate what you have said and I like the idea of cry room with pews. Our well-meaning LWML redid our cry room when my twins were born ( I have 4 ages 4 and under now) to help us but unfortunately it is so filled with toys that I can’t even begin to teach about the way we should behave in church while we are in there trying to regroup to go back into the sanctuary (and of course, no one wants to leave a toy-filled cry room to go back to a quiet, boring pew .) As the pastor’s wife, I know he tries to be supportive and helpful and so does the congregation, but some Sundays are a struggle to even walk in the door. Thanks again. I found your post encouraging.

By: theresa kiihn

theresa kiihn — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 15:49:51 +0000

Hi Dan,
This is a very good post! Part of me wishes that I
had read it when I was a young parent dealing with similar issues, but I also know I would not have been very able to pull myself above the land of the law I was living in.. Having a pastor preacing Grace to us would have made a huge difference. Our choice? We alternately switched churches or just skipped church because we were tired of the accusing glances. If only we had been in the church we are in now! Our current pastor does an EXCELLENT job of making sure he reaches out to parents of all young children and also to the few older parishioners whom he knows are irritated by less than “quiet” children.

By: Ron Simmons

Ron Simmons — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 03:49:20 +0000

Inciteful article on autism.

We have an autistic young man in our congregation. About 5 years ago he started confirmation and was confirmed 3 years later with his class. It was an interesting 3 years. He memorized Bible verses, etc. perfectly and had plenty of social chalenges with his classmates. It was a learning experience for us all.

His mom definitely enjoyed her “time out” while he was in class.

He was brought to worship with his 2 siblings. During the service he would ask me questions or make comments at will. (Heh, we are friends, what are friends for?) I would stop and address his comment and move on. Today he can participate and sit through the whole service. He is learning to play the piano and has performed (from memory) several times in our worship services. We hope to train him as one of our organists.

Yes, be patient, there are rewards!

Pastor Simmons

By: Church, Children, and Autism | Lutheran Kantor

Church, Children, and Autism | Lutheran Kantor — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 02:18:39 +0000

[...] at Necessary Roughness has written an informative post on “How Churches Should Handle Autism”. He offers practical suggestions to help congregations understand and help these families affected [...]

By: Frank Gillespie

Frank Gillespie — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 20:05:28 +0000

Great post Dan! It’s hard to understated how broad the spectrum is in ASD and how things can manifest in children who have this diagnosis. You did an awesome job in simplifying a very complicated subject for those who might not know anything about Autism as well as explaining how this applies to how all of us interacting as a congregation. Again, great job!

By: Lila White

Lila White — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 18:12:28 +0000

AGREED! No, it is not bad parenting, although I’ve had a teacher imply that my son was just spoiled.

By: Lila White

Lila White — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 17:56:38 +0000

As a parent of a son recovered from high functioning autism, my problem was never with the church, but the school attached to the church. The teachers need to be educated as to how to teach these children. They are not “bad kids” that need to be driven out of the Lutheran schools into the public schools. The higher functioning kids merely need some minor accommodations to be able to function in a normal classroom. Jesus didn’t say “Let only the normal little children come to me”. He went to great lengths to fraternize with the rejects of society. Our sinful nature puts us all that in boat. None of us is perfect save Christ.

By: Elephantschild

Elephantschild — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 12:55:09 +0000

There’s something else that I wish congregations would realize:

It’s NOT bad parenting, people. Seriously, you can stop whispering behind your hands.

Autism spectrum disorders have a special place in my heart. My own 7 yr old has some sensory issues, is highly sensitive in general, and is sometimes just all-around hard to raise. It’s not autism, but sometimes it’s a rough road to walk anyway.

Bless you & your wife, Dan.

By: Dan

Dan — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 11:07:48 +0000

Of course.

By: Alan

Alan — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 05:41:42 +0000

With your permission I may link to this in my blog.

By: The Brothers of John the Steadfast » How congregations should handle autism.

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 04:31:37 +0000

[...] at Necessary Roughness has a helpful post for congregants looking to help families dealing with autism and the challenges it poses for [...]

By: Kurt Onken

Kurt Onken — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 04:25:10 +0000

Great advice, Dan. I linked to your article on my blog. Here’s a snippet of what I wrote:

Our congregation has had to work with this issue to a certain degree as well. We could probably do better…I also think that some of the advice he gives can apply to all families, even those with children who are not autistic. Having two young children myself, and watching my wife deal with their activity and movement during services, has made me more aware of the need for all parents to receive support from others in the church.